So let's clarify I'm Team Orlando. The whole BloomvsBieber feud has been a much needed comic relief to the real wars out there. We can get behind our team like hooligans at a football match and noone gets hurt. So when someone says to me 'what's Orlando Bloom doing in Ibiza anyway – he's nearly forty' – my blood boils! Am I irrationaly defending a man I've never met?..No, it's because I'm pushing forty and have no plans on hanging up my Ibiza shoes just yet.
Yes, I agree getting wasted on cheap vodka in the West end and falling over showing my knickers – I'm too old for. Pulling a guy and doing the walk of shame the next morning – if not too old.. I'm certainly too married for. Spending two weeks 'havin it large' every single night might sound amazing in my head but yes, I concede I couldn't handle it and besides I'd miss the kids.
I love all music, but dance music is the only one that boosts my endorphines.It's my workout music. It moves my body despite my mood. I've always felt that natural high and will always want the fix. Granted a yearly kick is all I need now unlike my weekly raving former self. So where am I meant to get it? A rave? ..Sorry too old ( for me) A festival? Sorry too grungy ( for me) . You may like acoustic music – will you ever be too old to go to a concert? Or an unplugged bar?
Yes, if a trip to a Spanish Island for you is getting drunk, getting sunburned and getting laid in a cheap hotel above a karaoke bar, I'm too old for that. But Ibiza for me offers something more sophisticated than that. Being older I have the desire and the money for the upgrade in accomodation, venues and tickets. When I go to get my tune fix I do it in style. You wont see me in the mosh pit – I'm behind the rope – and if that means going less then so be it…I couldn't afford more on my purse or my aging body!
Don't worry I know my age, I like my age – I don't want to be younger. I won't be making out in foam or raving on the beach topless ( not before the boob job anyway)…I'm delighted to pass on the baton to the younger and the more beautiful. They can have the podium to dance in their sequined bikini. I'm happy to just watch the sunset to the sound of Cafe Mambo!
So as long as Pete Tong, a decade older than me, is mixing his tunes In Ibiza – I'll be there appreciating them!
So I'm guessing by now you know where I'm planning my big birthday bash. Yes girls – or should I say ladies! You're invited to my 40th 'just' a weekend getaway on the party island of Ibiza ..Are you up for it?